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Community comment are the opinions of contributing users. These comment do not represent the opinions of Nelson Public Library.
Apr 11, 2019redoute rated this title 3 out of 5 stars
I know my comment is contrary to everything written below, but I am not writing this to be contrarian. Rather because I think my disagreement is valid and important. I enjoyed reading this book very much. But about half-way through I started realizing that this memoir is very lop-sided. This is entirely a self-interested memoir. The author apparently believes that she and her siblings are remarkable because 1. they brought themselves up solely by their bootstraps, and 2. they had an unusually dysfunctional family, and 3. their parents' parenting philosophy was unusually dysfunctional. I don't agree with any of those assessments. To start with, both parents clearly loved each other and their children. This is already way more than many children get from their families. Next, all 4 children were given the opportunity to bond with and support their siblings. Again, many children lose their siblings when they are taken into "the system." Next, these parents were highly intelligent and educated. They home-schooled their children to such a high level that the children always placed above their age group when they were tested in normal schools. In short, the family was far from completely dysfunctional. Yes, the parents dressed the kids in thrift-store clothing. But nowadays this is recognized as an ecologically sound practice. I think it is very telling that the author's vaunted "first good job" was to write the "society" column: i.e., which rich people wore which luxury clothes, to show off at which "society" event. Not something I think deserves much praise. Certainly a valid reaction to her impoverished childhood, but it is a job that reinforces very shallow values. I have many more objections, but would just like to say that this book does a great disservice to the parents. And I will note that one of the most functional siblings did not want her sister to publish this book. Perhaps because she doesn't agree that the parents were so awful and the children were so special? 2 final thoughts: 1. There is no universal definition of a completely functional family. Was your childhood perfect, were your parents perfect examples of selfless, omnipotent, emotionally balanced people? If you are a parent, have you never made a selfish decision? Do we not believe alcoholism is a disease, exacerbated by poverty? 2. How much sacrifice do parents owe their children? The mother was a very hard-working, albeit self-taught artist. Should she have had to sacrifice that completely because she had children? We venerate artists like Vincent Van Gogh, who doggedly plugged away at his art without ever earning more than pittance. Do only "great artists" get applauded for their hard work? How do you know if you are a "great artist" who should keep on working in the face of poverty and anonymity? Is this perhaps a gender issue? Men can be unpaid artists, but if women have children, they can't?